Distinctive News

Worst. Funeral. Ever.

Apr 10, 2017 2:36:45 PM / by Samantha Rosenberg

Samantha Rosenberg


Distinctive Life has been an integral part of the Texas funeral industry for over a decade and we have truly seen it all. For every beautiful, meaningful celebration of life we are so lucky to help plan, we also attend some TERRIBLE AND TACKY funerals that make our mouths drop. That is why we think it is just as important to discuss what can go WRONG at a funeral, as well as what can go right.


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Your Eulogy Sucks

What Went Wrong: You are not a great writer, so you used one of those super cliche templates you found online. Now your eulogy sounds more like a book report than heartfelt speech.

How To Make It Right: Speak from the heart! No one cares if your eulogy doesn’t have a funny opening line or a profound conclusion. Your loved one would have wanted to hear your genuine thoughts and feelings. We suggest this little writing exercise: get a pen and paper and write about your loved one for 10 minutes. Whatever comes to mind, write it down. Don’t edit yourself. After the 10 minutes, you can pick and choose the best parts of what you wrote down to use during your speech.


It’s Freaking Storming During An Outside Service

What Went Wrong: It was 75 degrees one moment and then all hell broke lose, and now it’s raining cats and dogs. Your beautiful outdoor ceremony is now a swamp.

How To Make It Right: Always have a Plan B! Make sure to have an easy and convenient plan in case of emergencies. Your rain plan could be as easy as setting up at a friend’s house. If you are really dead-set on having an outdoor ceremony, you could delay the funeral a day, but you have to be aware that some people may not be able to come to the service anymore.

There Is Not Enough Food And People Are Hangry

What Went Wrong: Maybe you underestimated how many people would show up, or maybe you underestimated the amount of food people would eat. Whatever the reason, people are HANGRY (hungry + angry) and it is all your fault.

How To Make It Right: Order too much food! Seriously! What is a good party without a TON of snacks? Worst case scenario is that you send your friends and family home with leftovers, or you can even donate the extra food to the homeless in memory of your loved one. Another idea is to ask your funeral director to run out and grab some snacks from the grocery store.

Who They Heck Are All These People?

What Went Wrong: Your long lost cousin from Europe decided to come to the funeral with all his friends that you don’t know and they are turning your intimate gathering into a circus.

How To Make It Right: Many people choose to have an open ceremony but then get overwhelmed with too many people. If you are looking for a close, intimate gathering with only close friends and immediate family, make the funeral a private event. You are there to honor your loved one, not to play hostess. If everything gets to be too overwhelming, don’t be afraid to ask your funeral director to crowd control.




Have you been to a disastrous funeral? What happened and what did you do about it? Share with us your experience, so we can tell you how we would have prevented or fixed the situation!


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Topics: funeral, funeral director

Samantha Rosenberg

Written by Samantha Rosenberg